Five Mistakes Guys Make with Girls in College

By Sam Flynn on September 27, 2012

I don’t consider myself particularly good with girls. But it is getting painful watching pathetic attempts at flirtation at parties in college without throwing in my unneeded two cents. For the record, I don’t want it to seem like I think or am superior or know any better. Believe me, I hate myself most days like everyone else and didn’t learn how to socialize properly, particularly with women, until well into high school. That said, I can confidently say after a million failures, I’ve learned a few things about what works and what doesn’t. In fact, I believe the only thing that separates a confident man who is comfortable around women and a wimp who cannot breathe around them is about a hundred or more failures. Here are the five mistakes in order of how they happen. If you don’t commit any, great! You’re a socially apt adult. If you can’t get past number one, there’s a reason you keep getting Maced. And if improving your social life wasn’t enough of a kick in the ass, just know if I see these out at night I will blow you out of the water, fellow Bobcats. Trust me; it’s for your own good. It’s tough love.

1. Don’t try to be the life of the party.

I will say this again: don’t try to be the life of the party, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT ISN’T YOUR PARTY. Think about how you would feel with some random guy walking up to a house who proceeds to act like he’s hot stuff and hits miserably on unsuspecting girls. It’s embarrassing and it reeks of approval-seeking. In practice, the less said the better. It makes what you say more important and memorable. Remember silence is golden. Talking to much is a sin many guys commit and it absolutely kills their interaction with women.

From flikr, by Brooom

2. Don’t talk to the drunk girl

She is either there to have fun with her girls or is just totally irresponsible. Does either sound like a good option to talk to? Find a girl who can actually hold a conversation. Trust me, you’re not going to have fun with anyone who isn’t on your level. Have a little self-respect and respect her. Women have a tough enough time as it is finding a guy who isn’t a pussy; it doesn’t engender good feelings to be approached when drunk. It’s death to long-term friendship.

3. Don’t ask the same questions over and over

There is not a college girl alive who has not been asked the Freshman Questions by stupid guys who have no clue: “What year are you?” “What’s your major?” “Where do you live?” Guess what, they’re boring. They suck and stop using them. They never work and the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. I’m going to shock and tell you this: girls want to talk about what THEY want to talk about. It’s a matter of finding it. So guys do the ladies a favor and ask them instead of what they like doing or enjoy most. At least then you’re getting somewhere.

4. Don’t try to hold a serious conversation at first.

This is obvious: if you’re out on a Friday night, what girl wants to talk to the guy who is twitchy and unable to tease her. No, they want to have fun. This is not life or death. So be normal! And don’t do the other extreme where many guys are outright rude or even go so far as to insult girls to show they don’t take it seriously. Perfect example, at the bar the other night, I saw a man turn to a girl who was trying to get his attention and tell her, “Why are you bugging me all night?” I was then forced to witness him chase her, apologizing while she walked away. That did nothing for him. All it shows is that he was a reactive asshole without social skills. Be nice and polite to everyone you meet and trust people to have fun with you. We’re all in this together for a good time so stop worrying.

5. For the love of God, don’t chase them.

If she walks away, it’s game over. Accept her decision and move on. One rule that is good to have is that it is always your fault. Unless the girl approached you and hit on you the whole time, YOU are the one who did something wrong. So learn from it. And don’t repeat it. As Aristotle said, “we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.”

Remember, leave people better than when you found them, and that applies especially to women. Women want to feel swept up. They want the cliché normal guy who is funny, doesn’t take life seriously, and doesn’t base his identity on them. Give them the experience of romance. You’ll thank me later.

By Sam Flynn

Uloop Writer
It takes a real asshole to sum themselves up in a few words. So I will. I am a sophomore journalism student at Ohio University with a minor in creative writing. I am copy editor at the InterActivist magazine, secretary for Theta Chi fraternity, and columnist for Rascal magazine. I love books, film, tattoos, MMA, motorcycles, rapping, and blazers. My idols are George Carlin, Kevin Smith, J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, Neil Gaiman, and Hunter S. Thompson. I am also now officially an asshole. Cheers!

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